要參與才知道

2010年11月22日

我和老公在剛完結的SOGO秋季感恩週里買了很多家庭用品。為了要拿最大的折扣，我們都分別參加了匯豐信用卡的週末優惠計畫。由於打電話向匯豐登記有關優惠的過程頗長，需要聽一段很長的優惠條款解釋，我們都變得很不耐煩。老公是一個怕嘮叨的人，他一面聽那長篇大論，一面頭頂冒煙，嚇了我一跳。他後來冷靜下來說：“我剛才想了一想匯豐為甚麼這麼麻煩，要我們登記參與才有優惠……要參與的東西我們才會感到珍貴，會記着它的好處。如果不用登記也有好處的話，我們便會把它當成理所當然，像奉旨的一般。更不會去留意有關優惠，也不會想起匯豐。”

我思索了一下，從商業角度來講，我覺得老公的話很對。從信仰的角度來講，他的話也讓我想起上帝其實也不需要我們參與在祂的工作中，祂可以自己廣行神蹟奇事。但是，如果我們在祂的工作中沒有分的話，可能會把神蹟當成是理所當然，甚至根本不去留意神蹟／上帝的存在。只有親身參與其中，才能夠真正認識上帝，經歷祂作為的奇妙，並和上帝建立親密的關係。摩西、亞倫、和每一個以色列人對於出埃及都有不同的參與。由於參與不一樣， 對於上帝的認識也不一樣，他們的生命更不一樣。

能親身參與和經歷上帝的工作是恩典，不是重擔，縱然過程可能充滿困難。

Christ in the Storm on the Lake of Galilee 2

35 On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, "Let us go across to the other side." 36 And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. 37 And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. 38 But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" 39 And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 40 He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" 41 And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?" (Mark4:35-41)

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Even though we know that God wants us to do certain things, go into certain directions, speak certain words, we may lose our initial trust in Him once we embark on our journey. This may happen regardless of how certain His words may appear to be and how enthusiastic we may be in the beginning.

"Let us go over to the other side". Jesus said with certainty and clarity in the beginning.

However, this certainty may only be an intellectual understanding. Our initial trust, faith, joy and passion may be ruthlessly shaken and washed away by the brutal storm, which may come into our lives without warning and at a time when we least expect it.

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We may be able to get a glimpse of the storm from a distance and we may be mildly alerted to it. However, we may not be too concerned yet because we still know that Jesus is with us. In any event, He is the one who sent out the invitation.

What can go wrong? 

Who can be against us when God is with us?

We try to suppress our anxiousness and nervousness.

We comfort ourselves that things won’t be out of control even if Jesus does not seem to be saying or doing any more things in the journey, and is just sleeping.

But deep down in our hearts, we know that a sense of distrust, little it may be, is awaiting to germinate.

Our faith is still at an intellectual level.

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When the storm formally approaches, we may suddenly find ourselves having to face it cheek to cheek and are totally out of control. The disciples were afraid and they lost their faith without the inner conviction that Jesus had always been with them.

And they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them,

"Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

Do I (you) still have no faith that He has always been with me (you)?

He cared for his disciples even though He had a busy day with the crowd prior to the boarding and was probably very exhausted.

He cares if you or I are in the storm.

He cares even when you or I ask “Don’t You care that I am perishing?”

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Do I (you) still have no faith?

But He still remembers us.  He cares, though not necessarily in our ways.

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In times of troubles, it is easy to have negative thinking, whether against God, ourselves or our loved ones.  We all need His mercy for a deep communion with Him. It is only by grace, not by might, that we can have faith in His everlasting love that nothing will ever separate us from His love.

Romans 8:38-39 says that " For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height or depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

The assurance of God's love in His Son Jesus will pacify and calm every storm in life. 

Be still before Him in the Fellowship, listen to Him attentively and enjoy the peace of the close embrace of His everlasting love.

交託

去年和老公去紐西蘭的南島度蜜月。在17天的旅程中，老公除了預定了頭三天和最後兩睌的酒店以外，只大概定了要去那幾個城市，既沒有預定酒店，也沒有計畫景點和具體行程。我們甚至連機票也是出發前兩個星期才候補到的。

我是一個喜歡做事有把握的人，所以我向來是預先計畫生活中的大小事務。而我的老公和我相反，經常在最後關頭才採取行動。所以，當我把預備度蜜月這個重任交給他的時候，我是很不安樂的。但是由於我當時有婚前抑鬱，連自己也顧不了，就只好寄望他了。 結果令我喜出望外，我們過了一個雖然沒有甚麼計畫，確充滿驚喜和意外的假期。

lagoon

我們到達南島以後，才發現當地的旅遊發展局為遊客預備了很詳細的酒店目錄。 還好我們沒有事先預定太多的酒店，不然的話，也未必那麼容易找到當地的特色旅館和民宿；也不會發現當地的珍寶，好像是Franc Jozef Glacier附近的lagoon lake和不知名的海灘；不會有彈性在皇后鎮逗留5天，並發現連旅遊書也沒有提到，確帶給我們無限笑聲的deer park；也不會忽發奇想，要在回程的路上去Lake Tekapo，結果我們碰上了2009年南島初雪後的浪漫美景，並見識了整個南半球最美麗的星空 （根據某個國際組織的認可） 。更沒有一面旅行、一面期待下一個出現的驚喜的興奮、刺激和滿足感。由於沒有詳細計畫，在旅程里所遇到的每一樣事物，都令我們有很大的新鮮感，也十分感恩。

Deer Park

lake Tekapo

這次旅行也讓我更加認識自己、老公和上帝。

這是我頭一次那麼輕鬆自在地去旅行。其實做人可以輕鬆有彈性一點，這樣的話，會更懂得欣賞生命，而不是為了厲行計畫而忙於奔命，確失去了一分真摯地去面對生命和生活的樂趣。 我的視野也可以更遠、心胸可以更寬廣、生命也更有承載力、去面對每一個在自己預計以外的挑戰、困難和驚喜。有時候，沒有準備可能是一個最好的準備。當自己不被自己有限的所思所想所局限，才能夠看見生命中無限的可能性、選擇和出路。 讓自己的生命說故事，也等於是尊重生命。

我也學習了要信任我的老公，既然已經把這麼重要的事情交託給他，就要徹底放手並安然相信他會把事情辦好。雖然他和我由於性格不同，辦事方式也不同，這並不代表我的慣性行事方式比較好。事實上是他有很多事情都比我做得好，只是我看不順眼而已。這次旅行證明了我是應該信賴他的。我更要學習他對於生命的彈性。他不是沒有計畫，只是在訂立了大方向以後，便彈性處理細節。這個醒悟對我們的新婚生活特別重要。

對於老公那分新生的信任感，也使我對信任天父有了一番新的體會。既然把事情交託給祂，就要相信祂會緊張我所緊張的，就算祂的道路和我所想的不一樣。自己能夠徹底放手的時候，才能夠親身經歷和明白甚麼是上帝奇妙的作為。在經歷祂的奇妙作為以後，才知道甚麼是敬畏和讚美上帝，因為祂的的確確是值得我去稱頌的。

所以我告訴你們、不要為生命憂慮、喫甚麼、喝甚麼．為身體憂慮穿甚麼．生命不勝於飲食麼、身體不勝於衣裳麼。你們看那天上的飛鳥、也不種、也不收、也不積 蓄在倉裡、你們的天父尚且養活他．你們不比飛鳥貴重得多麼。你們那一個能用思慮、使壽數多加一刻呢。( 或作使身量多加一肘呢)何必為衣裳憂慮呢．你想野地裡的百合花、怎麼長起來、他也不勞苦、也不防線．然而我告訴你們、就是所羅門極榮華的時候、他所穿戴 的、還不如這花一朵呢。你們這小信的人哪、野地裡的草、今天還在、明天就丟在爐裡、神還給他這樣的妝飾、何況你們呢。

所以不要憂慮、說、喫甚麼、喝甚麼、穿甚麼。這都是外邦人所求的．你們需用的這一切 東西、你們的天父是知道的。你們要先求他的國、和他的義、這些東西都要加給你們了。所以不要為明天憂慮．因為明天自有明天的憂慮．一天的難處一天當就夠了。

馬太福音(6:26-34)

最重要是我們有對方

昨天看到一則新聞，使我很感動。新聞中的一對退了休的夫婦買彩票得了巨獎，得到8700萬港元。但是，他們將獎金中的98％都捐出去做善事， 包括替那位妻子治療癌病的醫院。那位丈夫說：

「我們沒有大計。我倆不愛旅行，也不是夜貓子，蒲吧不合我們。我們只是普通人，滿足於現狀。」 。

「我們生活過得不錯，不是大富大貴，但舒適安樂。」

那位丈夫還說： 「那筆錢算不上甚麼，快樂是買不到的，最重要是我們有對方。我們只是平凡的鄉下人。」

昨天晚上，老公說：「在我們過去30多年的生活中，原來我們已共度了四分之一的人生（拍拖＋結婚）。 」

我說：「是啊！不經不覺已相識了差不多八年了。 結婚以來，我一直都覺得不論生活怎樣，前路如何，最重要的還是有對方，一起同行。」

 75歲的拉奇（Allen Large）和78歲的維奧莉特（Violet）

Book sharing - Wonderfully and Fearfully Made

My sharing in Nov 2009 Issue of Unjournal, Vocatio Creatio

Book sharing of Let Your Life Speak – Listening for the Voice of Vocation

Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker J. Palmer (San Francisco: Jossey- Bass, 2000)

 

“What am I meant to do? Who am I meant to be?” are no doubt the questions that most of us have raised in search of our identities at adolescent stage. To some or many of us, these are the questions we may raise again when we tick the box of the thirties’ group after we have worked for a few years.  Many may ponder the questions, but only a few may take up the courage to discover and reclaim the gracious gifts they already received, and courageously live their lives in congruence with the way they are fearfully and wonderfully made, in the Creator’s image.

With the same questions in mind, Palmer candidly leads us onto his pathway of seeking his vocation in his early thirties.  By sharing his mistakes – the wrong turns he made, misreading of his true identity and his pain and depression in the journey, I found a teacher and a real person whose words of wisdom brought me comfort, encouragement and inner conviction from God that He was asking me to search for His calling to me.  I also encountered a friend, who was able to side with me and echo my heart in my journey.

Frederick Buechner (quoted by Palmer) defines vocations as “the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need”.  Palmer explained that vocation begins “not in the world needs (which is everything), but in the nature of the human self, in what brings the self joy, the deep joy of knowing that we are here on earth be the gifts that God created”.  He also shared from his own experience that vocation “does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear. Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am.”  It calls for listening to “truth and values at the core of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live”. It calls for unveiling the masks behind the heroes that I try to imitate and piercing through my ego to be the person God created me to be from birth. 

The guidance is from within. Our stories give all clues about us, from our birth, throughout our lives, including all the success and shattered dreams, strength and weakness, emotions and intellect, potentials and limitations. It is in embracing our whole being that we can discover our greatest desire and “true vocation joins service”. That is how we can serve the world with the gifts we received and how our gladness can meet the needs of the world.

The book opened my heart to the term “vocation” as God does not call me or you to do everything which is simply a fallacy. No one is the same as we are all wonderfully and fearfully made. The gift of true self is not forced onto us to become someone we are not meant to be but lavishly given to us by His unforced rhythm of grace and love, waiting patiently for us to “recover and reclaim” what we are meant to be. 

Christ in the Storm on the Lake of Galilee （1）

Christ in the Storm on the Lake of Galilee (Matthew 8:23-25), Rembrant van Rijn, 1633

風暴中的耶穌在哪兒？

你又在何處呢？


這幅畫的構圖有甚麼特別和意義呢？